Andrew has remained stable since yesterday. Andrew's colonoscopy and biopsy was quick and uneventful. Again, the reason behind the scope is to see if Andrew has gvhd of the gut. His stools have been bloody and loose, indicating gvhd. PLEASE, PLEASE PRAY, ALTHOUGH LIKELY, THE BIOPSY IS NEGATIVE FOR GVHD. PRAY FOR THE MIRACLE. LET ME REMIND YOU OF THE MIRACLES AND ANSWERED PRAYER:
-REMISSION OF CANCER AFTER ONE ROUND OF CHEMO
-THE MIRACLE OF HIS CHROMOSOMAL ABNORMALITY CLEARING UP. ALLOWING HIM TO GET A BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT.
-AND GOD ANSWERING PRAYERS FOR A DONOR MATCH ONE WEEK LATER!
Since yesterday afternoon, Andrew has not had a loose and bloody stool as of 2am this morning. Maybe that is a good sign?
The biggest issue remains the poor condition of the lungs. In light of his increased pressure needed to maintain the lungs being open as much as possible, the respiratory team went to a different respirator setting to see if Andrew would be more comfortable. The setting was not necessarily a cure for the lungs. Andrew's lungs have gotten worse, even though the lungs have cleared up on x-ray.
I BEG OF YOU TO PRAY THAT THE LUNGS WOULD START TO SHOW MARKED IMPROVEMENT AND TURN AROUND TOWARD FULL RESTORATION OF HIS BREATHING. HE IS TOTALLY RELIANT ON THE RESPIRATOR FOR HIS BREATHING.
Andrew's liver bilirubin have started to climb the past few days, although not in severely dangerous levels, the rising levels are of concern. PLEASE PRAY THE LIVER WOULD HEAL AND THAT HIS BILIRUBIN LEVELS WOULD SHOW THAT THEY ARE INDEED HEALING.
Andrew seemed to be more comfortable yesterday, compared to the day before and may be reflective of the change in pain management. PLEASE PRAY FOR COMFORT AND PEACE!
I asked Jennifer if she thought Andrew is afraid and Jenn said he may be. I am praying desperately to our Lord that Andrew is at peace and God is reassuring him that he is in good hands. Please pray Andrew is understanding Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Pray he will be assured that God has his back.
Yesterday, after the discussion with Dr. Sonali, without being said, Jennifer, Yun (Andrew's mom) and I were overwhelmed and totally depleted mentally and emotionally. It was like we were punched in the gut when Dr. Sonali said Andrew's chance of survival were poor if he had gvhd of the gut. Thank God, our dear friend and pastor, Michael, came on a moments notice and came to console and help us deal with our stress and grief. Jennifer, Yun and I had the difficult task of discussing what to do if there was no hope. We all agreed that we don't Andrew to suffer. Hearing others who have faced similar situations and have said they would not want to let their love one suffer, in the midst of severe pain, and not continue further treatment seemed so wrong to me. Why wouldn't people pursue other options? But I understand now how the comfort of my son is tantamount! If that time does come, I would want Andrew to be comfortable, withdraw his respirator and wait for him to go home with the Lord. This discussion was one of the most difficult things I have had to do.
Some people have asked how I do it. People say I am so strong, but the reality is that I AM NOT STRONG! In my weakness, I trust that Jesus Christ is being strong for me. There is no secret formula to how Jennifer, my family and I have survived. It has been the grace and love of God. Some of you may wonder, how I can trust in a God who can let children suffer and die? Well, we live in a sinful and ugly world where innocent children and people die for no apparent reason. But there is hope! I believe that what Jesus Christ died on the cross to save His people from "death". His blood was shed for me so I can "live". This world is fleeting and an ugly place at times, but this world is temporary compared to the eternal glory that is promised by simply placing trust in Jesus Christ. He is the reason I can say I have a modicum of peace in the midst of turbulent seas. Andrew may pass away, but I know his trust in Jesus Christ will give him eternal peace. We will all one day pass away, but I know where I am going. I know in my heart if my son dies, I will see him in heaven. Trust me, I am horrified he might die and I can't fully reconcile why this is happening, but I have my faith and trust that is carrying Andrew and my family at this moment. Again, no secret, but it's faith that has sustained me. I trust in what John 3:16 says, yep the Bible verse you have seen many times growing up on tv at the end zone of football games written haphazardly on a bed sheet,